Caregiver thoughts #3

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“Gloves make me brave” – remark made by a Greenville Memorial Hospital Nurse.

You’re taking care of a life form, and life and metabolism require inputs and generate outputs. This is as true of yourself as it is of the one you’re caring for. In fact, the processes are basically the same between you and your cared-for (unless maybe you’re caring for an alien from another planet). So, if you need to help your charge with these functions, inputs or, yes, outputs, just put on a pair of gloves (where warranted) and get it done. Caregivers (professional and amateur, and parents) do that sort of thing all the time. Don’t make it a bigger deal than it is.

I will never take going to the bathroom for granted ever again.

Caregiver thoughts #2

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Control expectations, and be flexible.

If you’re caring for someone who’s recovering, you want to convey optimism, but things proceed on their own schedules, and progress is not always linear. Some days it’s two steps forward, some days it’s a step back, some days you just fight it to a standstill.

It’s ok to make plans, but be prepared if your cared-for can’t attend that event, or progress isn’t “on schedule”, or even if you have to change your own plans because your cared-for needs you. Do not get so enamored with a plan that you get all in knots if it has to change. That becomes just a bunch of stress you don’t need and wastes mental bandwidth.

Options are a good thing. If your job permits, keep your laptop handy so you can do work when you’re sitting around the hospital. Know where the grocery stores are so you can make a quick stop on the way between places. Have a friend who can mow the grass and look after the cat if you get tied up. Carry durable snacks (preferably something healthy, like trail mix) in case you have to miss a meal. Know places where you can get a healthy meal if you don’t have time to fix something (I like Subway). Carry your most important medications with you (tip: a small re-sealable bag takes up a lot less room in a backpack than a pharmacy bottle – just make sure it’s properly labeled). Having options like these in your back pocket will help reduce the stress when the situation changes.

Be flexible, and know your priorities. If you’re called away from work, know that you’re taking care of the Most Important thing (your cared-for), and don’t worry about work. That’s what FMLA is for (for my US reader, anyway). Remember to keep your own self a spot on the priority list (see Caregiver thoughts #1) and, if your cared-for is in a good situation, go run or do some gardening or whatever you like to do to unwind.

It is what it is, and what will be will be (I think that’s from a song).

Creature Feature 2014 #3

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I got out on the lake early in the morning. It was a pretty nice morning, but a light southerly wind swept up enough moisture from the lake to sock in the areas north of the spillway. In spots, visibility was on the order of 100m.

When I got back, I heard a Great Blue Heron squawking and this other sharp call I’ve heard from time to time, but didn’t really know what it was. Then this little Green Heron landed right on the dock, practically right next to me, and hung around for some pictures.


Caregiver thoughts #1

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My role as a caregiver for a cherished loved one had been gradually increasing over the years, but recently, due to medical issues, that role has taken a very large leap. That’s why I haven’t been posting much here lately.

Remembering that I have a blog, I thought I’d post some thoughts on being a caregiver. I’m a practical sort, so I’ll concentrate on the nuts&bolts (so to speak) of being a caregiver and leave the deep philosophical/spiritual/psychological aspects to others who are far more qualified than I am to comment on such matters.

Rule #1: take care of yourself.

Everyone I’ve talked to places this first, and I understand the reasoning. It’s like when they tell you to put on your own oxygen mask before assisting others should there be a sudden loss of pressurization on the airliner. If you’re passed out gasping for O2, you’re of no use to anyone. My Sister put it quite nicely: “If you [as the caregiver] go down, he’s [the one cared for] in Trouble.“.

I’m posting this one first, not just because it’s Very Important, but because I’m finding it very difficult to adhere to. It’s very difficult to leave your loved one in professional hands, no matter how good, and walk away to even do “necessary” things like get groceries, but even more so to just unwind and do something recreational. Or maybe you think it’s not necessary to buy groceries. After all, there’s a food court in the hospital, and plenty of drive-thrus. IMHO, relying on those food sources would be a Big Mistake.

But it’s important to maintain yourself with adequate rest, food, exercise, and yes, just plain downtime. You need to operate in a way that’s sustainable.

Now that I’ve said it publicly, I have to stick to it, otherwise someone will hit me over the head with this post.

Creature Feature 2014 #2

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What’s that expression about how the Heron flies?

No, that’s not right … it’s “How the Osprey flies…”

Crow! That’s it! It’s “How the Crow flies”!

In aerodynamics, drag is directly related to “frontal area”, or how much surface area is presented to the oncoming air. Birds don’t have a lot of frontal area in their flight configuration:

The Osprey are nesting on top of the intake structure. Best of luck to ’em!

I’m pretty sure this is a Bonaparte’s Gull, found hangin’ out near the dam, and probably on her way to breeding grounds, as they’re considered transients in this area:

(as usual, click on a picture to get to a higher-resolution version)

Creature Feature 2014 #1

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I know, what took me so long? Finally, here’s the first Creature Feature of 2014.

The first thing you notice is all the pollen and tree seeds on the water:

Cormorants and Geese were on patrol in the early morning cool:

And the Herons were in on the action too, commin’ right at ya (almost):

And ducks were fueling up for the day:

And, in a more pedestrian moment, my visiting Sister spotted this little guy on the side of the road, unfortunately expired. Adult human fingers included for scale. Anyone know what sort of snake this might have been? The blue color is distinctive, but might have changed since he died.

Nature provides

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I was in a store this morning gathering supplies when I remembered that I need to get some vegetable seeds to plant. It’s been too busy a year to do much, but I still wanted to grow something. So I grabbed some seeds.

Later, as I was getting ready to plant them, I realized, drat, I should have also looked for some marigold seeds. Growing marigolds in with the vegetables noticeably reduces the number of hornworms we have to pick off the tomato plants. Oh well.

But as I started to clear away last year’s marigold plants, I realized that I didn’t need to buy seeds at all.

There were plenty of seeds left on the old plants. Who knew? 🙂

Defining success in caregiving

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Something for y’all to think about:

Recently I heard a discussion on the radio about how we define success in various endeavors. That got me thinking (dangerous, I know, but sometimes I’m quite the risk-taker) about how one might define success as a caregiver. If you’re caring for or supporting a friend or loved one, how do you define “success”? How can you know if you’re doing a good job? Particularly if you’re caring for someone who may be near the end of their days, when the end comes, does it even make sense to wonder if you “succeeded”?

Another program I heard on NPR talked about when we tip, and when we don’t. A criteria suggested is that we should tip when the customer is the best one to evaluate if the job was done satisfactorily. For example, while a restaurant manager might have some idea if food is being delivered to tables in a timely manner and the money is being collected, only the customer can say if they received the right degree of attention. Some diners might just want their food and to be left alone, maybe to ponder weighty matters (like how to define success…) or discuss Important Things with a companion. To the boss, it might seem that that customer is being neglected, but in reality, the server is doing a Good Job. So the customer leaves a tip to indicate their degree of satisfaction.

While it’d be ludicrous to expect tips from those we’re caring for, perhaps that’s the perspective to take. If the cared-for is happy, maybe that’s all that matters. “The customer is always right”.

Whatchy’all think?