Category Archives: The Universe

Life, The Universe, and Everything

Defining success in caregiving

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Something for y’all to think about:

Recently I heard a discussion on the radio about how we define success in various endeavors. That got me thinking (dangerous, I know, but sometimes I’m quite the risk-taker) about how one might define success as a caregiver. If you’re caring for or supporting a friend or loved one, how do you define “success”? How can you know if you’re doing a good job? Particularly if you’re caring for someone who may be near the end of their days, when the end comes, does it even make sense to wonder if you “succeeded”?

Another program I heard on NPR talked about when we tip, and when we don’t. A criteria suggested is that we should tip when the customer is the best one to evaluate if the job was done satisfactorily. For example, while a restaurant manager might have some idea if food is being delivered to tables in a timely manner and the money is being collected, only the customer can say if they received the right degree of attention. Some diners might just want their food and to be left alone, maybe to ponder weighty matters (like how to define success…) or discuss Important Things with a companion. To the boss, it might seem that that customer is being neglected, but in reality, the server is doing a Good Job. So the customer leaves a tip to indicate their degree of satisfaction.

While it’d be ludicrous to expect tips from those we’re caring for, perhaps that’s the perspective to take. If the cared-for is happy, maybe that’s all that matters. “The customer is always right”.

Whatchy’all think?

Respect your elders

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What if I told you that you could see your future? Hold that thought.

When I was growing up, I was taught to respect my elders. Back then, that generally meant listening to those elders and doing as they said. One thing that I’ve learned more recently from my elder (my Dad) is that this is still a good rule, but the implementation is a bit different. Now, even though I can be considered an “elder” myself in some circles, I still need to respect MY elders. Now that means being appreciative of their knowledge, experience, and helping meet their needs. Back when I was little I was the one with the needs, which my parents met in every way. Now it’s my Dad who has the needs, which it’s up to me to meet.

The other day my Dad and I were walking in to the supermarket. While he’s remarkably spry for his age, he doesn’t do anything fast. A young man rush up behind us and my initial impression was that he’d have pushed us out of the way if he thought he could have gotten away with it. Now, maybe he was on his way to the pharmacy for some urgently needed medicine, but I suspect it could have been due to his just not having any idea about the capabilities of someone in their 90s.

Now a days, many people’s only contact with the elderly is visiting them at a facility every third Thursday, or maybe they just see them on TV. They do not see what it really takes to live at that age, on a day-to-day basis, what the challenges are, and the sheer guts it requires. In the absence of that knowledge, they just assume that the elderly are just like everyone else. The man in a hurry at the supermarket may just never have had any experience with an elder.

I would encourage you to spend some time with your elders. Learn what they need and what their limitations are. Better yet, get involved in caring for your elders. You’ll learn a lot about life at going-on-three-digits of age. When you meet an elder in public, cut them some slack. They’re doing the best they can do. Actually, it’s not a bad idea to cut everyone a bit of slack; is it going to make or break your day if it takes a few extra seconds to get to the ice cream aisle?

Now about that thought I asked to hang on to… If you could see into the future, YOUR future, would you do it? Wouldn’t you like to know what life has in store for you? You can, or you can at least get a pretty good idea. Look at your elders, particularly those in your own family who you share genes with. If you live that long, and the odds of you living to an advanced age are getting better and better (“The longer you live, the longer you’re GONNA live”, my Dad says), your future awaits.

So, respect and care for your elders, and teach your young’uns to do the same. You’ll be glad you did when you’re an “elder”.

I hope NPR’s Scott Simon doesn’t mind my quoting him:
“And when she told me, ‘Honey, always take time with people in their 80s,’ I hear her voice coming back into mine now. ‘Always take time with people in their 80s because for more than a decade, they’ve been looking right across the street at death and they know what’s really important in life.’ I don’t know about you, but I can stand to hear that message.” – Scott Simon On Sharing His Mother’s Final Moments On Twitter

Keep calm and carry on

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Last week my employer sent me out to the far coast to assist on a project, so I haven’t had a chance to do much photography, or anything else, lately. There is, however, one thing I’d like to share.

I’ve mentioned a couple of recent encounters I’ve had with people who have inspired me by their persistence through what can easily be called tragedy. My Sister caring for her terminally-ill husband, and the cyclists who rode the 62-mile Flight of the Dove pedaling with their hands and arms and who finished before I did. These sorts of stories seem to be all around us.

I had the opportunity to meet a co-worker in person who I had heard was having vision issues. I didn’t realize the extent of the issues: this person now uses a cane and is on track to get a guide dog. And yet, they are still a very capable and valued member of our team. That someone can encounter this kind of life-changing event, and continue to work and, at least in our encounters, seem to not be slowed down by it, is inspiring to me. I’m sure they’re dealing with many resulting issues, but what I see is, again, a perseverance and fortitude that I’m not sure I could ever match. I am encouraged when I see these people successfully dealing problems like this.

Oh, here’s one picture I did get on the trip:

William A. Prall, 1943 – 2013

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Back in December, my Brother-in-law, Bill Prall, was diagnosed with a nasty form of cancer. On July 4, 2013, he passed away.

Bill is/was a well-known figure around Brodheadsville, PA. Husband, father, businessman, showman, Army National Guard medic, musician, actor, so many things he did.

This was presented at the viewing:

God saw he was getting tired
And a cure was not to be.
So He put His arms around him
And Whispered, “Come with Me.”

With tearful eyes we watched him suffer
And saw him fade away.
Although we loved him dearly,
We could not make him stay.

A golden heart stopped beating,
Hard working hands to Rest.
God broke our hearts to prove to us
He only takes the best.

His Wife, my Sister, did an amazing job caring for Bill through his illness, dealing with countless issues and seeing everything through to completion. Her care, devotion, and fortitude is an inspiration to us all. I hope she can get back to her gardens.

He is, as they say, survived by his Wife and two Daughters.

Take Flight 5k

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I’m not much of a runner (ever watch a Blue Jay on the ground?), but I had a blast running in the Take Flight 5K at the Greenville Downtown Airport last Saturday. As mentioned in an earlier post, this was held to raise money for the community park being built at the airport, and the run was on the actual airport itself. It was a whole different perspective going down the runway on foot rather than on landing gear and wings.

As I was getting ready to exit runway 1, I noticed a lot of the runners were cutting off the corner rather than following the lead-off line. I told a course worker “I’m a pilot, I have to follow the line”.

This was billed as the flattest 5k in Greenville, and that took about 3 minutes off my typical 5k time.

I found this picture on Facebook. No, I’m not any of the good-looking ones :P.

Links to results and more here.