Defining success in caregiving

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Something for y’all to think about:

Recently I heard a discussion on the radio about how we define success in various endeavors. That got me thinking (dangerous, I know, but sometimes I’m quite the risk-taker) about how one might define success as a caregiver. If you’re caring for or supporting a friend or loved one, how do you define “success”? How can you know if you’re doing a good job? Particularly if you’re caring for someone who may be near the end of their days, when the end comes, does it even make sense to wonder if you “succeeded”?

Another program I heard on NPR talked about when we tip, and when we don’t. A criteria suggested is that we should tip when the customer is the best one to evaluate if the job was done satisfactorily. For example, while a restaurant manager might have some idea if food is being delivered to tables in a timely manner and the money is being collected, only the customer can say if they received the right degree of attention. Some diners might just want their food and to be left alone, maybe to ponder weighty matters (like how to define success…) or discuss Important Things with a companion. To the boss, it might seem that that customer is being neglected, but in reality, the server is doing a Good Job. So the customer leaves a tip to indicate their degree of satisfaction.

While it’d be ludicrous to expect tips from those we’re caring for, perhaps that’s the perspective to take. If the cared-for is happy, maybe that’s all that matters. “The customer is always right”.

Whatchy’all think?

Mud

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The recent rains evidently created a lot of runoff, which is heading into the lake. You can see the silt moving down into the lake from the South Rabon Creek, and getting stirred around by the aeration system near the dam.

Winter storm #2, 2014

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Who’d’ve thunk I’d be doing another winter storm post right after the first one?

This one started with just a quick inch of snow that melted right off of most stuff (including the roads) on Tuesday. Then things got interesting, with snow beginning in earnest Wednesday morning. It slacked off in the afternoon before resuming with mixed precip in the evening and finished off with some snow squalls Thursday morning. Total accumulation here looked like about 4.5 inches.

The meteorology of this storm wasn’t all that unusual for this part of the world, except for it’s intensity. High pressure to the north setting up a “cold air damming” scenario: cold air gets blown up against the east side of the mountains where it just piles up. Then add a Gulf of Mexico low traveling up the coast throwing moisture all on top of that. More often than not, this setup gives the forecasters fits because you have warm air, cold air, and somewhere they’re going to meet, but it’s hard to nail down just where that is. As a result, there’s often a lot of uncertainty as to whether we’re going to get snow, sleet, freezing rain, rain, or frogs. This time there wasn’t a lot of question.

The view Wednesday morning, which didn’t look all that bad:

But things went downhill from there. By Thursday morning, in between show showers:

Total accumulation:

But like a typical Carolina winter storm, Thursday afternoon it warmed up and cleared out, giving me a chance to work on the driveway:

Lest anyone think I’m just lazy, there’s a madness to my method. By tomorrow morning all this is going to freeze again. If those shoveled out tracks don’t dry off and instead turn to ice, I can make my way down on the crunchy snow/slush areas, and maybe not end up in the lake at the bottom of the hill. Hopefully by later in the day the tracks will melt and make for an easy climb back up.

These and more pictures can be found at my Google album.

Now for the “creature content”. A couple weeks ago we got a couple more hanging feeders deployed in the back yard. One of them is a clear plastic tube feeder, and as the Goldfinches attacked it, I could almost see the seed going down in the tube. Almost. So I got the idea to do a time-lapse video to showcase the operation. With some extra time around the house Wednesday, I put together this video:

Winter storm #1, 2014

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Our first winter storm of 2014 is mostly history. Who says it doesn’t snow in South Carolina?

This storm was interesting in a couple of ways. Because of the temperature profiles, there was really no question about what sort of precipitation we were going to get: it was all snow. Usually there’s a lot of uncertainty about whether we’ll get rain, freezing rain, sleet, and/or snow. Often it ends up being freezing rain, resulting in ice on everything.

The other interesting thing is that this storm drew in moisture off the Atlantic, and the amount of snow was actually higher towards the south. A friend in Greenwood, to the south, reported about 2 inches of snow, while I measured just under one inch.

As usual, the effects of this weather continue. Any snow that melted but didn’t dry up will be ice by morning, “black ice”, so called because you often can’t see it when you’re driving down the road. If you’re not careful, you can end up in the ditch with no clue what happened.




Can’t let this go out without some creature content:

Respect your elders

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What if I told you that you could see your future? Hold that thought.

When I was growing up, I was taught to respect my elders. Back then, that generally meant listening to those elders and doing as they said. One thing that I’ve learned more recently from my elder (my Dad) is that this is still a good rule, but the implementation is a bit different. Now, even though I can be considered an “elder” myself in some circles, I still need to respect MY elders. Now that means being appreciative of their knowledge, experience, and helping meet their needs. Back when I was little I was the one with the needs, which my parents met in every way. Now it’s my Dad who has the needs, which it’s up to me to meet.

The other day my Dad and I were walking in to the supermarket. While he’s remarkably spry for his age, he doesn’t do anything fast. A young man rush up behind us and my initial impression was that he’d have pushed us out of the way if he thought he could have gotten away with it. Now, maybe he was on his way to the pharmacy for some urgently needed medicine, but I suspect it could have been due to his just not having any idea about the capabilities of someone in their 90s.

Now a days, many people’s only contact with the elderly is visiting them at a facility every third Thursday, or maybe they just see them on TV. They do not see what it really takes to live at that age, on a day-to-day basis, what the challenges are, and the sheer guts it requires. In the absence of that knowledge, they just assume that the elderly are just like everyone else. The man in a hurry at the supermarket may just never have had any experience with an elder.

I would encourage you to spend some time with your elders. Learn what they need and what their limitations are. Better yet, get involved in caring for your elders. You’ll learn a lot about life at going-on-three-digits of age. When you meet an elder in public, cut them some slack. They’re doing the best they can do. Actually, it’s not a bad idea to cut everyone a bit of slack; is it going to make or break your day if it takes a few extra seconds to get to the ice cream aisle?

Now about that thought I asked to hang on to… If you could see into the future, YOUR future, would you do it? Wouldn’t you like to know what life has in store for you? You can, or you can at least get a pretty good idea. Look at your elders, particularly those in your own family who you share genes with. If you live that long, and the odds of you living to an advanced age are getting better and better (“The longer you live, the longer you’re GONNA live”, my Dad says), your future awaits.

So, respect and care for your elders, and teach your young’uns to do the same. You’ll be glad you did when you’re an “elder”.

I hope NPR’s Scott Simon doesn’t mind my quoting him:
“And when she told me, ‘Honey, always take time with people in their 80s,’ I hear her voice coming back into mine now. ‘Always take time with people in their 80s because for more than a decade, they’ve been looking right across the street at death and they know what’s really important in life.’ I don’t know about you, but I can stand to hear that message.” – Scott Simon On Sharing His Mother’s Final Moments On Twitter

Creature Feature 2013 #13

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I hung out in the back yard for a bit on Christmas Day and snapped a few pictures of the backyard wildlife. This Tufted Titmouse stopped by for some fast food:

… to go:

And he wasn’t the only really small bird. This Chickadee was on the alert:

These folks (Mourning Dove and Blue Jay) stopped by the see what was going on:


Meanwhile, out on the lake, it’s pretty much the winter season. This Seagull is far from the coast, but that’s not unusual for this time of year:

One of the geese seems to be off to a rough start to winter, but she seemed to be flying just fine, even if minus a few flight feathers:

The weather cleared up just in time this weekend to get in some flying. I think this is Rainbow Falls, near Jones Gap, SC (click on the picture and zoom into the full-res image):

while clouds hung on over the Smokie Mountains:

I know this is a “creature feature” and you don’t see any creatures in those last two pictures, but I’m sure they’re in there somewhere. Some would consider the planet itself a creature (check out the “Powers That Be” series of books by Ann McCaffrey and Elizabeth Ann Scarborough for a story of a planet that really does fit that description).

Soggy weekend

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Not a real good weekend for outdoor activities, but we did manage to sneak out into the air a bit under a ceiling that threatened to become a floor in places:

Duke Power maintains a hydro-electric facility called Bad Creek that, in part, operates like a big mechanical battery. During times when they have extra electricity, they pump water up into the reservoir. When demand cranks up, they let the water run back down to generate additional electricity. Those low ceilings didn’t leave room to get much closer than this.

Almost oddly, the sun did manage to find a hole here and there.

Update: Even though Sunday turned out to be overcast, drizzly with occasional rain, around 40F degrees, and a chilly northeast breeze, I couldn’t just sit around the house. I went out on the lake for a bit. One thing that I’ve noticed is the apparent indifference that a lot of the wildlife displays towards the weather. I’m sure they’re aware of the conditions, since it’s a matter of survival, but, also a matter of survival, they can’t just curl up somewhere. They have to get out and eat. It was a deadful day for trying to take pictures, but I caught this Kingfisher hangin’ around a fishing spot, getting a bit ruffled by the wind.